迟来的一封问候信

昨天早上，收到一位很久不见好友的来信。信里所有的内容不是纯粹写给我一个人 - 是她写给身边一些好友的解释信吧！

很奇怪吧？为什么是说解释信呢？顾名思义，这是一封解释她为什么突然消失在她身边好友的一封信 - 说白一点，就是一封解释为什么她这一年里拒绝了所有好友们的问候，所有好友们的关心。所有好友们的来信，短信，电话统统不接，对于所有的关心忍心的拒在门外。是的，从去年8月她匆匆的和家人回国后，就突然音讯全无，突然消失在我的生活中。刚刚开始是知道她因为小儿子身体没有很好，所以痛定思痛，决定回到家人的身边，所以我也没有多问她离开的原因。那时的我，只是心里很自责，为什么不能在精神上给予她多一点的支持。但是回国对于她家人来说也绝对是一件好事，心里还是很替他开心的。

回来每次回到大马，就试图和她联络，但是她不是电话不接，就是短信不回。那时的我原来很白思不解，为什么她不回我的电话？是不是我做错的什么东西让她不愉快呢？我真的想了很就很久，也真的想不通个到底为什么她完全不理会我的问候。心里从怀疑，担心到气愤，无论自己处在什么情绪中，我心里还是没有一个底，我心里这位好姐姐到底发生了什么事，可以让她这么忍心的回拒我的问候。她的丈夫后来因到上海来出差，他带来了老少平安的消息，心里在放下心头。

昨晚意外的收到她的回信 - 才知道她孩子得了癌症。他没有办法接受事实的全部，更不知道怎样面对突如其来的一切，结果她选择逃避所有好友的支持，自己和家人躲在一旁，不和任何朋友解释或道别。

以前我们在一起的时候，我常常记得她以前一直都很自责，因为工作加班的很晚，常常没有办法照顾家里的两个心肝宝贝。相信这件事，让她看透了很多人生需要面临的问题。庆幸的是，小孩的健康没有什么大碍了，她们一家人回到新加坡定居。

以下是她写给她所有好友的一封信：

Hello there, yes finally I PU TAO after been 闭关for closed to one year. Why? A very and deeply sad fact hit us back in October 2008 when my youngest son was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL, blood cancer) at Subang Jaya Medical Centre. It really took us a long long time to get thru, face and accept the fact...!!! We cant accept things like why my baby who aged less than a year, did nothing wrong and didnt even wonder around or ate much meat etc got such life threathening disease..... Been in and out hospital, ICU etc regularly for the past one year. Now my son and myself had gone thru almost a year intensive treatments including endless injection and drippings of chemo drugs, anti-biotics, blood and platelet transfussion plus plenty of painful bone marrow aspiration, spinal code injection and also an operation to put a chemo port on his chest to facilitate drugs infusion.

Being a mother to see her own baby to suffer from all sorts of chemo treatment and also all kinds of side effects from the chemo treatments, it is a kind of internal sorrow feeling that not everyone can understand.... it is not just tear dropping but also blood dripping in the heart that many people cant understand. So when we are not prepared to share, we opt to remain silent and also temporary disappear from the society as my son is very precious to us, we want to give all our love, attention and support to him, also to accompany and give him the courage to face all sorts of painful treatments.

Well! We are coming to the end of one year intensive treatment and moving on to another year of maintenance treatment starting from next year.

Reason why I am sharing all the above with you is because I know u been caring, concern about us and keeping in touch with us just that we are not prepared to share with u earlier on when we ourselves cant even accept it. Now that we are coming to the end of one year intensive treatment, I foresee some space for me to breath soon.

Anyway, life needs to move on. We will be moving on to Singapore end of the year as my husband been relocated to Spore HQ since July this year. Also my elder son will start primary schooling next year.

After reading all the above, knowing you I believe u will call or write back to show your concern. I thank you in advance. But if you really care and concern, I would really appreciate if you can pray for my son that he will be fully recovered from the disease. We really need good luck for my younger son. It is a long journey to go but we are looking at the positive side of the journey that Asian countries have 80% successful rate in treating ALL.

Sorry I put it in a private email rather than post it on the wall as I wish life can go on as it is rather than refreshing myself about the past. We need to look forward and not reminding ourselves of why, how and what happened etc. I wish not to answer and repeat the sad story but rather to move on with positive hope.

Dear pls pardon our rudeness in not replying and not answering your emails, alerts or phone calls. We dont mean to do it purposely but it is a hard time that we are trying to get thru at that very critical moment.

Till then. Do take good care of yourself and sorry I will not be able to chat with you that frequent like before as I am very tight up handling 2 kids by myself, no more 2 maids and driver like life in Shanghai... somemore my husband is stationed in Spore....

我承认，人个有异。每个人的处理方式会有所不同。但是我一点都不认同她处理这件事情的方式。我不想掩饰我心中的不爽和不满。心中的不满却引起了我心中一连串的内疚和自责，让我搞不清自己的情绪。不满是因为我没有办法站在她的角度去认为朋友的支持是不重要的。朋友的关怀竟然成为了她的负担和压力，她的做法让我反思了朋友之间友谊的重要性 - 朋友之交本应淡如水，朋友之间的关系更不应有任何承诺的味道；内疚是因为我没有办法站在她的角度去想象那时的她有多么得不懂的去处理这个突如其来的恶讯，而用体谅的方式去看待这件事情。我，老实说，是真的需要时间来消化这一切。所以，我不会回复她的来信，因为我还没理清自己的想法，心里一直想提自己找个最好的解释方式来解释所发生的事情 - 但是无论以后故事发展到什么情节，我心里都会记得和她与家人在上海一起渡过美好的日子，她依然是我心目中的好姐姐，好朋友！

想了很久，终于下定决心把以上的信放在我的博客中。因为我知道，她身边还有很多很多的好朋友都想知道她们的状况，我也想借此希望凝聚我身边好友的力量来为这小孩子祈祷祝福，希望他快快痊愈，平安，健康，快乐。

你们可以和我一起的默默祝福着我心里一直很敬重的姐姐和她的孩子吗？谢谢你们！